Sleepless Night

Hey!!
I know it's passed my bedtime and I should be sleeping rather than writing my stupid blog but I have a problem. I can't sleep. I try closing my eyes but they won't shut. I don't why I have such difficulty in going to sleep I don't have anything on my mind. I don't know what the problem is. I'm tired but not sleepy.  Weird, right? How can a person be tired but not sleepy? I don't know, I guess I'm one of those exceptions. I don't follow the rules. I have always been that special girl, that quiet, smart, lovely girl that no one notices but her true friends. Eh, who knows when she's going to have a boyfriend, or graduate from college and get a successful job offer. All my life I have been wondering why was I made here for? Why did God put me this world? There was must a purpose and I want to know what is it. I may sometimes think of myself the victim in reality I'm not. I act, I say I'm sorry when half the times I'm not which is sometimes I hate about me. Deep talk. Oh great, this is what I get when I'm not sleeping I start writing how I'm feeling. Which is something that I don't often write about... I have a lot of feelings hidden in me and afraid to show it because I feel they aren't important. I don't want people to worry about me...Ahhh, hopefully by writing this blog I could finally hit the sack. Until that time comes I will continue writing. Besides a sleepless night, I'm also stuck with the toliet roll of paper beside my pillow. I have been getting sick something that I wasn't expecting. Another thing I need to worry about.  Now it's 1:43am. And yet I'm here writing. I just don't know what to do with the life I'm given. I'm grateful for everything I have in my life but it seems if something is missing and no it's not a guy but something else. A reason to get up every morning, a reason to tell myself that I could make a difference... a reason to be happy. But I don't know what? I wish I was given a sign or something to tell me what my next step in life is.