Livin' Life

I want to say things are going to get better and everything is going to turn out to be fine but I really can’t say because I don’t know.  This past year I have realize in order to move on, one needs to let go of the past and start over otherwise that person will always be living in the past. The past is gone and one needs to let go, as much it may hurt, at the end you’ll be glad you left it. It may be hard at first but with the help of others it will slowly go away. With the loving support from family, friends and GOD anything is possible. I know for me it has, for the last few years I have been hanging on my past, always too afraid of what people may think, too scare to live life, and hard to trust people who always disappoint me. But hey, if we don’t take a risk we will always be afraid, living life afraid is just stupid.

Writing is my Medicine

Writing perhaps maybe the only thing from saving me making a fool of myself once more; each time I try it seems like I’m doom to failure. I want to say that things will eventually get better but I cannot say. The future is beyond my control and cannot predict what’s going to happen next. I want to believe again but each disillusion has really affected me and sometimes these scars are hard to heal.  Time will see if I will be able to believe again. For now I need to stay strong and think about what’s important in life. Family. Friends. and God who will always be there in the good and bad times. :)

Another Semester is Gone

Last post of the semester, it seems like if it was just yesterday that it was the first day of school and now it's over. Time flies when you are having a great time. A lot of amazing things happen over these past 16 weeks and I want to say that I have learned and gain new things as well as new experiences that I will cherish. Perhaps towards the end I was a bit fragile and it seem like everything was coming apart but at the end I knew that it didn't matter what people said or do was going to affect me. It may have disappointed me to see that they weren't the people that I expected to be but I took that disappointment as a positive thing. I took that rage inside of me and put it into my school work. I know I may be wasting my time writing this post but writing is a relaxation method for me and taking time to write this helps me to develop my thoughts and ideas.  Thoughts and ideas that I will need to focus on my finals. Another semester has ended and the only left is to finish strong and hopefully afterwards get some peace from school and other worries that may be bothering us. Overall, I'm just glad that I finally finish the semester and hopefully the next few days I could stay focus and finish strong in my classes.

Let's Do This.

True Colors

"Cara vemos, corazones no sabemos"

You really don't know a person until their true colors come out. Why does it hurt to find out that the person who you thought you knew turns out to be a jerk? I really thought he was my friend; it saddens me to realize that I never really knew him. I don't know if he has been always like this or is it since that night that everything has changed. The more I think about it the more i realize his change of his behavior, I've never seen this side of him before. After this disappointment I'm really doubting who is actually my friend. I'm tired of people always disappointing me, did i do something wrong that I bought this upon myself? Did I cause anyone any pain for me to for me to deserve this? Why am I always meeting the wrong people in my life? Disappointment after disappointment it seems like the universe doesn't want me to be happy. I try and try to live my life as much as possible but its hard when you are surrounded with disappointment. I'm so angry and frustrated with pain; pain that I wish I could make it disappear. I do not want to cry for someone who doesn't give a damn about me, doesn't care if he hurts my feelings; what kind of friend does that another friend. Enough is enough I can not let him or anyone bring me down again especially that finals are coming up. He's not going to bring me down. No!!!! I need to stop thinking about him and move on and concentrate on my work. I hate that I have waste time thinking about him, not worth it. 

Not worth it. Not worth it. Not worth it. 

I don't need friends like him in my life.