Just one weekend

Just one weekend: I felt relax before starting a new academic year. Just one weekend:  I cleared off my thoughts and breathe before the stressing out begins. Just one weekend:  I reflected upon my thoughts, my feelings and everything that I didn't have the chance to think about. This amazing weekend that just passed has made me think differently the way I see the world. For some reason I have conflicted issues among my values and the things I have learned. I've learned that I shouldn't complaining for what I have because there are others that have it worst than me. I should be lucky to be where I am here today.I guess I should be happy and be content for what I have but at the same time I just feel like something is missing. I have always felt that empty feeling inside even though I don't want to admit it but it's just that i wish I had that confidence, that security that most girls have but I don't. Each day I struggle to be a better person, to be that person who i want to be. I want to be that change I want to see in the world. I want to walk down the streets wearing whatever I want without being honk or whistle by other men, i want to speak out my mind and not afraid of what they might thing. I want to stand up and say what I have to say and not afraid being rejected. But I don'.t Each day I struggle with that and most people don't understand how hard is to be me. I just want that certain person to understand my life, I want that person to be my confident, to be my best friend, someone that I could go to and be honest with, but I haven't found that person.For the mean time, I hold my head up high and take each day at a time. :) It's hard but I know I could do it, by the end of the day I will have accomplish a lot. :D

For reason this weekend is different compared to any other weekend I've lived through, I don't know it's different though. I can't say much about it but there was a vibe I don't know. That mushy feeling one gets, I don't know. I think it's all in my head. Okay. Enough about that.As I sit here, I'm reading through the syllabus for each of my classes, I'm starting to think about the difficulty I will face but I'm determine to do my best , no more lagging it. I can't afford to mess up anymore otherwise I'm out. You know what all my classes have in common is Presentations yes Oral Presentations, the worst nightmare in my life. I know it's a challenge but I'm willing to get over it if I practice, and I know that I will achieve it. I'm scare now. I know I could do this.

Wish me Luck Tomorrow. I sure need it. ^-^

Last Days/ Retreat

I don't know why I make a big deal the last few days of vacation before school starts. I guess the excitement, the nervous feeling that I get whenever a new semester starts. Where did the summer go? I just can't believe that summer went by so quickly, it just seem if last week was the first week of summer vacation.  What a shame, at least I was able to do something useful this summer took a summer course at El Camino Compton Center and volunteer at the Boys and Girls Club of Long Beach. What a wonderful summer it was indeed. Now school starts on Monday, I need to get back in my feet and start focusing again, no more distractions no more drama and especially no more laziness. I have a tough schedule this semester, I'm taking 15 units and plus I'm an officer in La Raza. When you think about it, I have lots to do this year and hopefully I could manage to do what I have plan this year. Eh. 

Any minute now, I'll be heading down to Long Beach State to depart to La Raza Retreat! at Lake Arrowhead. Yes, the day finally arrived to go up to the mountains and spend quality time with my friends. Unfortunately only 10 people are going :/ it's a shame but an upside to that is that we get to bond closer with the people that are going. I'm so excited to go. :) Yay! I don't know what to expect this year's retreat but I'm excited to find out. As I reflect by at each retreat that I've been into, they've been getting better and better each time. This year is my fourth retreat, I know, I've been in Raza for a while huh. Well let's see if this retreat tops the last one. hahaha.

:D Maggie 

A week prior of the Fall Semester

As the start of the semester is approaching, I'm thinking about the classes that I'm taking well prior today I decided to take only 12 units = to 4 classes. However I received some news about the Chicano/Latino Department about they will need to cut down some classes if they don't reach a number of students in the classes. I was looking at the list of classes that  they are possible of cutting, one of them being the class that I enrolled in CHLS 330 Critical Issues in Chicana and Latina Studies. I don't know what to do if the class is indeed cut, however I just enrolled myself in another class CHLS490 Latino Youth, Immigrant and Education I saw this prior to the email however I thought 4 classes is enough but now I'm having second thoughts. The class is seems interesting especially that I'm interested in working with youth and education. I don't know how I'm going to do this but I'm going to give my 150% and plus I need to complete my CHLS310 course that I didn't completed last year prior to an incident that happen to me.

As you see I have a lot going on this semester. Not sure if I'm going to be able to handle it all but I'm going to try. No more side track stuff, I need to think serious especially that I'm thinking of graduating next fall. Damn, all this thinking has made me have a headache. You see what college does to you, drives in crazy, insane and even go nuts. But hey, it's worth it at the end.

Well let's see how it goes this year.

Mexico Won Gold Medal

Mexico Won !~ Gold Medal (1-2) against Brazil. It was no surprise that Mexico won, based on how they were playing throughout the Olympics. I'm so proud that they are representing us in London. I'm proud to be Mexican.
Si Se Pudo!!! Viva Mexico!!!

Another Year Older

Today is my birthday, unfortunately I'm another year older something that I don't enjoy very much. Each year it reminds me the things I've done in the past year and sometimes it's not good in remembering those things. It also reminds me the things I haven't done, for example I should have a job by now at least or at least learn how to drive but that's not the case. I'm "22" and yet I haven't done anything. Another year has passed, another year that the lord has given me to spend with family and friends and I'm thankful for that. This upcoming year, I want to do a lot of things maybe travel, definitely get my license and of course a job that I love. I also want to network with people, look into grad schools and maybe let myself open in meeting new people. I don't know. But that could wait,  I have other important things I want to do before  getting myself into a relationship. But yeah. Happy Birthday to Me. :)

Campus Tour Today

Where to start? Today I went back to school (CSULB) to give a campus tour a group of students who were visiting us. I heard about this tour through Hermanas Undias, an organization that I've been involved with almost two years. Any how yeah, our academic chair, Joanna, sent out an email several weeks ago regarding this and immediately i responded quickly that I was interested in helping out. Ever since I decided to work with the youth as a counselor I have been finding ways to work with them. So I decided why not get some experience by giving a campus tour. And you know what? It was amazing, i would have thought I would be nervous but actually it turn out pretty great. As I was coming home, I felt great about myself because I knew that I made the right career choice working with the youth. I felt proud and thanks to Joanna who held this event. I wish I had more opportunities to work with them; I've been trying to look places that involve working with them but no luck. I don't know where to look at. But anyways... I hope more opportunities like these show up. Overall I had a great day.

An Update

Seeing that I haven't written for months already, I guess I should start writing again. I don't know what's in my head right now. I've been volunteering at a Boys and Girls Club for the past few weeks and I love working there with the kids. But I don't know, daily it's like I don't want to go. I've been going but eh. I'm not that motivated to go anymore. Is something wrong with me? Is it because I'm doing work for free? Would I be more motivated if I was getting paid? I don't know and these questions often come up in my mind.

Any how, in other updates... Raza. In the org that I'm involved in is in serious trouble. Not bad trouble, but trouble that we won't have grants (money) to fund our events this upcoming academic school year. We, the officers, are thinking of ways to petition to give us money for the events. But I don't know how we going to do it.

I'm at school. Just using the internet because I don't have access to internet at my house. So for the mean time I need to rely on wi fi or come to school to use it. Yeah.