Just one weekend

Just one weekend: I felt relax before starting a new academic year. Just one weekend:  I cleared off my thoughts and breathe before the stressing out begins. Just one weekend:  I reflected upon my thoughts, my feelings and everything that I didn't have the chance to think about. This amazing weekend that just passed has made me think differently the way I see the world. For some reason I have conflicted issues among my values and the things I have learned. I've learned that I shouldn't complaining for what I have because there are others that have it worst than me. I should be lucky to be where I am here today.I guess I should be happy and be content for what I have but at the same time I just feel like something is missing. I have always felt that empty feeling inside even though I don't want to admit it but it's just that i wish I had that confidence, that security that most girls have but I don't. Each day I struggle to be a better person, to be that person who i want to be. I want to be that change I want to see in the world. I want to walk down the streets wearing whatever I want without being honk or whistle by other men, i want to speak out my mind and not afraid of what they might thing. I want to stand up and say what I have to say and not afraid being rejected. But I don'.t Each day I struggle with that and most people don't understand how hard is to be me. I just want that certain person to understand my life, I want that person to be my confident, to be my best friend, someone that I could go to and be honest with, but I haven't found that person.For the mean time, I hold my head up high and take each day at a time. :) It's hard but I know I could do it, by the end of the day I will have accomplish a lot. :D

For reason this weekend is different compared to any other weekend I've lived through, I don't know it's different though. I can't say much about it but there was a vibe I don't know. That mushy feeling one gets, I don't know. I think it's all in my head. Okay. Enough about that.As I sit here, I'm reading through the syllabus for each of my classes, I'm starting to think about the difficulty I will face but I'm determine to do my best , no more lagging it. I can't afford to mess up anymore otherwise I'm out. You know what all my classes have in common is Presentations yes Oral Presentations, the worst nightmare in my life. I know it's a challenge but I'm willing to get over it if I practice, and I know that I will achieve it. I'm scare now. I know I could do this.

Wish me Luck Tomorrow. I sure need it. ^-^