Blogging Time Yeeee!!!

It’s that time again, that point in my day and sit down and write for the next half hour or so.  Week 2 is practically over and yet I haven’t found something useful to do with my life. I have thought about it and I came to the conclusion is that what I want to do in life is a job without money, a job without benefits, a job without a retirement fund but rather a great effort to change our society. I don't know if I'm making sense, in other words I want to fight and struggle and be in solidarity with those people who are suffering, those people don't have no one to speak up from them, etc. I think that's me rather than making money and ignoring others who are more important, I prefer helping others rather focusing on me. If we had help, I think this world could be a better place. Eh... 

I have no words tonight. Probably this is going to be a short post; I just wanted to come by and post something at least. The night is young and hopefully people are taking advantage of vacation and enjoy what's coming. 

Random Thoughts.

Words can't describe how I'm feeling at this moment. I'm sitting outside my room and looking up at the sky and wondering about the future and how it pressures someone to do something that they don't want to.  Now in days many are going toward careers that make money rather doing something that they are passionate about. I know that not all cases are like that but I've seen this within the people that I know and it sucks to do something that they don't enjoy doing. But let's face it, based on what's happening these recent times what other option does it leave us with. Personally I don't care about money but it's a necessary to keep us alive.

My emotions are all over the place this week. One day I feel happy and then I feel unhappy I don't understand the causes of these mood changes. Is it that I miss going to school? Nah, can't be it's been only a week. Or is that I miss hanging out with my friends? Maybe, I miss them so much and they know who they are. Or is that I don’t have anything to do? Maybe, I'm usually in a good mood when I'm actually doing something for instance right now, I feel happy and peace just writing my inner thoughts. People say I'm a good writer but I say I'm good with words. It's true, I write from the heart rather just making up stuff. I don't focus about the grammatical mistakes but rather the message which I believe it's the most important part. 

Other random thing about me is that I transition to a different topic every time. I can not stay within one topic I find it the need to talk about something else. Whenever I start writing about one thing, I usually think about other things that I want to write about and can't wait to finish my thought to write it down. You see I have a big mind and I want to write about everything that I'm thinking. Writing for me it's like therapy, it relaxes me. People may have Yoga , Running, or Walking to relax them and I have writing. Writing is a way to express the feelings I have without actually saying it someone's face.

What a wonderful day! I almost forgot today was Monday, it felt like a Sunday just because I spent all day at home with my family. I love my family, maybe they over protect me that's only because they love me so much and appreciate that they care for me. But sometimes I do wish they could be more less protective and let me out once in a while. I understand why are strict and I guess I deserve it based on the behavior I acted but I think I learned me lesson. At this rate I will never meet my prince charming. LOL. Yes prince, I still believe in happily ever after unlike a lot of people out there whom just get together because of physical attraction rather than personality wise. Yeah, I want to meet my guy someday and I hope soon because I don't want to die single :) jk. I know one day he will come and sweep  me off my feet.

Writing Again

Friday. A week ago I was on my way to Raza Banquet celebrate the graduate seniors, the upcoming officers and recognizing those members who’ve done a great job throughout the year. It’s only been a week really? It’s seems like forever since then. It was a marvelous night, dressing nice and getting complements from my friends.  That night I felt great surrounded with people who cared about me; however at the same time I felt if something was missing. Through the night one of my friends kept saying “he’s missing out how you beautiful you look”. I told her that I’m not interested in the guy, I barely know the guy so why would I like him? However, I’m starting to think about him and the comment that my friend said. Yes, I was nervous if I was going to see him that night but good thing he never showed. Worst of all is that I have work with him, being on the same board, I wonder if I should step down , maybe it’s a sign that my time in Raza is over. I don’t know, I had a lot of ideas on my mind that night. 

Afterwards, a friend, invited me to go clubbing to Sevillas along with friend and her date; I decided to tag along maybe clubbing could bring back the joy of my life back. However it wasn’t what I expected. I had fun at some point then, it was just pure memory. Just dancing and drinking again bought my back memories of the good old days partying with HSBA especially remind me about a particular person. That just ruin the night for me, I guess thinking about him just made my night go not so well. But I did have a good time, I just realized then maybe clubbin’ and drinkin’ is not me anymore. I don’t know. 

I need to be honest with myself, where am I heading? Approximately in a year or so I’ll be graduating from college and yet I don’t have a plan what to do. I do not even have a plan what to do over the summer. That sucks; I thought I would have something by now. Am I just a lazy person who is willing to spend all her time at home? No. Frankly I don’t, I want to be out there but I’m scared and timid to do something. I need the strength.

Stress, Anxiety, No Sleep- Finals

It's that time of year again. When no students cram, get no sleep or just simply freak out because of the final examinations. While one's are given in-class essays or simply essays there are others who are simply given exams. Which one do you prefer having, do you an 5-7 page essay or just or an exam?
It really doesn't matter, either one still takes time to prepare and study the material. So, either way it requires time and effort. What I love about finals week is that the library is open for 24-hours during last week of class and finals week. Literally it's open, last semester a few friends and I spent some time in the library (technically slept over) and we saw people would come to the library around 3 or 4 in the morning to study. I was actually stunned to see people at that hour studying. Unforuntaley this time around, we got restricted to camp out here in the library so no sleeping over this semester. My friends are disappointed because last semester we had a blast "studying".

The joy of finals. yipee. After next Friday or even earlier, we will be free from school well unless if people are going to summer school otherwise, we will be free. A week from now, I'll be done! Ah, excited. Summer is calling my name.  Wish me luck. :)

Late Night Blog

Staring at the dark sky wondering what tomorrow might bring. Yet again, more sleepless nights, cramming for finals, all nighters for those procrastinating,  and yet I can't focus. I still lack the mentality and realizing that the semester is practically over. Where did all the time go? It seems like if yesterday was the first day of the semester. Time flies. Summer is just around the corner, it's time to get out our binikis and head down to the beach. Those long summer nights walking in the beach with your special person holding hands and talking about what you two love about each. Days like that I wish I had. Instead of studying for final I have tomorrow for CHLS, I'm just writing my thoughts about the summer.

People have been asking my plans for summer I don't know what to reply. I've been too busy to think about summer plans. I should be thinking about internships, jobs, summer school... but it's like I don't have nothing else but school right now. I don't want to waste another summer sitting at home knowing that I could be doing something useful out there. The problem about my major is that there's little offerings of internships of us and I don't know where to look. I want help the youth. That's my main focus, I have always think that youth can make a difference in the world if they just apply themselves. We are losing our hope, our youth to social networking sites now it's more about Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr rather than reading or spending their time with family or other things. I'm guilty, I've been hook on Facebook and sometimes desperately waiting for that response from that one friend. what a joke huh, but hey FB is useful too, one needs to know how to control their limit.

Fresh air coming thru my window, so calm and smooth. A relaxing night in Compton, no sounds of helicopters nor ambulances what a relief. I hear a baby crying that would be my baby cousin who lives within less than 20 feet from me. Her name is Emm's but we call her Lols. She is so cute. What a beautiful night ...

Good night. Peace

I'm Happy for What I Have

I may not have what others have, but I'm happy for what I have. Others may party, others may drink but that's not me. For years I've been trying to figure out who I am but I never really found out until I met you. You show me to be myself and there's no need to pretend to be someone else. Others may gossip, others may judge but that's not me. Hey I have been there before and it's not pretty being judged or being talked about being their back. You have shown me the light and made me realize that it's not right. Others may have a boyfriend, others may fool around, but hey that's not me. Yes i had my history but that's all over now. You showed me the right path and show me patience and wait til that right person comes a long. You showed me to be respected and don't let others step all over me. Others may have cliques, others may have tons of friends in Facebook, but hey at least i have friends who truly care about me and that's you.

I may not have what others have but at least I'm living life how I suppose to. I have family. I have friends. And I have you in my life. I want to thank you for that. <3

I DoNt KnOw

Not sure how I am feeling right now. There are a lot of things running in my mind right now. Not sure what to be focus on. I'm in my room watching out my window, the only thing i see the helicopter rooming my streets, there's no surprise there. I'm use  to this, it's nothing new. I hate the fact the people judge me for my actions and not for who i am. I know i have my history of my rebellion but that doesn't mean that i love screwing up. I admit I had my fun in the past but that's in the past and the thing that should be a worry is the future.

There's a friend that I adore a lot and i believe that friend is the only person i could count on even though they dont know it. often a stranger but whenever i see that person i see i have hope and joy in my life. without that spark in my life, as if i muerto en vida. Extraordinary. Remarkable. Intelligent. Caring. Krazy. and of course Goofy. maybe even friendly.. even though they dont think so. What else to describe this person. I'm grateful that God put that person in my life.