Writing Again

Friday. A week ago I was on my way to Raza Banquet celebrate the graduate seniors, the upcoming officers and recognizing those members who’ve done a great job throughout the year. It’s only been a week really? It’s seems like forever since then. It was a marvelous night, dressing nice and getting complements from my friends.  That night I felt great surrounded with people who cared about me; however at the same time I felt if something was missing. Through the night one of my friends kept saying “he’s missing out how you beautiful you look”. I told her that I’m not interested in the guy, I barely know the guy so why would I like him? However, I’m starting to think about him and the comment that my friend said. Yes, I was nervous if I was going to see him that night but good thing he never showed. Worst of all is that I have work with him, being on the same board, I wonder if I should step down , maybe it’s a sign that my time in Raza is over. I don’t know, I had a lot of ideas on my mind that night. 

Afterwards, a friend, invited me to go clubbing to Sevillas along with friend and her date; I decided to tag along maybe clubbing could bring back the joy of my life back. However it wasn’t what I expected. I had fun at some point then, it was just pure memory. Just dancing and drinking again bought my back memories of the good old days partying with HSBA especially remind me about a particular person. That just ruin the night for me, I guess thinking about him just made my night go not so well. But I did have a good time, I just realized then maybe clubbin’ and drinkin’ is not me anymore. I don’t know. 

I need to be honest with myself, where am I heading? Approximately in a year or so I’ll be graduating from college and yet I don’t have a plan what to do. I do not even have a plan what to do over the summer. That sucks; I thought I would have something by now. Am I just a lazy person who is willing to spend all her time at home? No. Frankly I don’t, I want to be out there but I’m scared and timid to do something. I need the strength.