Have you ever felt that you wish you never had a particular conversation with a friend. That friend that you always considered as a close friend even though that you two haven't hung out or talked for a while. Well I do regret my behavior towards that friend. I must admit that I was not in my 5 senses, I will say a part of it is because of that but also I must admit that it was me who is impatience when people don't respond their texts. The more that I think about it, I regret it. I just don't know what got to me this weekend that I just demanded. I must admit that I was demanding to him, which I have no idea why? It was just fluid that I was drinking that didn't let me think. I don't know if he is ever going to talk to me again. The more and more I read the text messages, the more I realize how stupid and crazy I was in writing those messages to him. He's my friend, just thinking about that, its just plain wrong and weird. I'm sadly to say that I think I lost him. Yet again. I don't know what to think anymore. A part of me is OMG, why did I say that but for reason that other part of me is like I was actually looking forward to what we have been talking about it. It seem right for some reason but what's the point now he's not ever going to talk to me again. I hate myself for that. The worst thing is that I was actually felt this was going to work out that I did something that I don't think I could take back. I mean I could erase the messages but I could not erase... Nevermind. I wish he could read this and realize I'm sorry and wish I could take back all my demanding back. He should know me by now that I'm not like that. Little by little I'm regaining my will power back and it's taking me a while to adjust back to school. Until this point I have not yet thought about t he consequences of my actions. Well just the risk of losing him and I really don't want that to happen. if I could take that back I would take it back.
It seems like the world is against right now. I just receive a text from my mother saying that I got the hospital bill and guess how much is it? 27,000 yes, omg I just don't know what to do. Now i really do need to get a job. maybe not come next semester and work it out. For reals, why me? I really don't know what to do. I'm lost and confused. What am i suppose to do now?
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